I didn’t want this to be my first blog of the year (and decade), but here it is, I’m flying solo with my twin boys for the first time. It’s only four days, but I’m still anxious. I’m hoping writing will help get rid of some of the jitters that I’m feeling.
As I type this, I’ve already been up since 5am. I had to drop off my husband at his job (he’s in the military; Army Reserve) and he is going to be training, or whatever they do (I honestly don’t know), for four days straight while I stay at home with our twin boys.
I kind of keeping hoping he’s going to text me any second telling me he’ll actually need me to pick him up later today because they won’t be doing overnight work for four days. But, we’ve been together for a long time now, and I know that that will most likely not happen. Still . . . I can’t help but hold out a little smidge of hope.
Thank goodness I’m a twin raising twins though. My sister helps me a lot. I mean, she still has work and her own plans, but at least she can watch them so I can catch a nap here and there.
I also have my family if I need them. But I feel so bad for asking other people to watch my babies. I know how exhausted I am taking care of them that I don’t know if any of them could handle it. I have no experience with raising just one baby, but two babies at once is craziness here. I couldn’t even imagine what it’s like having more than two at once. I have my little ones on a schedule (which helps) but I get anxiety thinking someone might change that.
Which leads to this next thing. I’m a bit of a control freak. I know. I’m horrible. I don’t know how my husband deals with it. I don’t mean to be, but I just can’t help it. I like doing things a certain way and when people can’t match what I do, than I just prefer to do it myself. That’s just how I am.
So it’s not really the fact that I’m taking care of our twin boys alone that has me all nervous. It’s the fact that I won’t have my husband to lean on for a few days. He keeps me sane with all the craziness of my life. Me just knowing that he’s there if I need him, helps keep most of my anxiety away. I can’t wait for him to come back home. I hope it’s sooner than we think.
I do love taking care of my twin boys though. They are totally mama boys and I just gobble it all up. They are just so handsome and loving. All they ever want is my attention. At times, that can be overwhelming, but I try to enjoy as much of it as I can. Who knows how long they will want my attention or even cuddles from me? I really am so lucky to have them in my life and I am just going to keep reminding myself this for the rest of the weekend.
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