I knew I was dreaming. When I was younger, I used to watch this show, Teen Wolf (does anyone remember that show?). From one episode in the later seasons, I learned that there are ways to tell when you’re dreaming. Like how you can’t count or read, or really focus on anything in a dream.
So when I couldn’t focus on the details of the classroom in my dream, I knew it wasn’t real. I couldn’t read what was on the chalkboard and the classroom was older than any classroom I’ve been in. But the real giveaway? The other students in my class didn’t have faces.
It was blank. They didn’t have eyes, a nose, ears, or even a mouth. The other students did have hair though and they were dressed in what I assumed was a uniform.
I didn’t try to pay too much attention to all the details so the dream could continue without noticing I was conscious. I wanted to play along and not have to worry about trying to fall back asleep again if the dream pulls me out.
I think the proper term is called lucid dreaming? I do this a lot so I kind of understand how my dreams function. Often times, if my subconscious realizes I am lucid dreaming (or conscious) it will end the dream and I wake up wide awake. So I make an effort to try to go as unnoticed as possible. I hate trying to fall back asleep.
Anyway, back to the dream I needed to reset…
After a while of just gathering my surroundings and comprehending I was dreaming, I sensed my twin sister was in my dream (not like her real self, but a dream version of her) and I started to get anxious. My heart starts thundering in my ear and I’m beginning to sweat, asI’m already trying to get out from behind my desk to move to her.
I don’t like to dream about the people I love because it usually ends badly. The worst is when I dream about my twin sister. She usually dies in my dreams. Her dying is my worst fear so this tends to manifest in my dreams regularly.
I shouldn’t have moved. Once I did, all the other students stopped moving, stopped mumbling. It was calm and quiet but I knew something was coming. Then, as if I was writing the story myself, the storyline was coming to light. I had to get to my sister or she will die.
The intercom came on announcing we were starting a lockdown procedure via code word, but I stopped listening. I was already jumping out the window.
I was in a classroom on the opposite side of a large campus to my sister’s classroom. I had to cut through another building to get to an open field that was a straight shot to my sister’s classroom. The blood pounding in my ears was deafening, and I could feel my wet tears streaming off my face as I continued to sprint to my sister’s classroom, praying she would be okay.
The entire campus was a labyrinth. I would try to attempt to explain the layout, but it wouldn’t make much sense. Basically, I had to go through a building and up a staircase, down the hallway and back down the staircase on the opposite side to get to the open field I had mentioned before.
But as I descend down that final staircase before I hit the open field, I heard the gunshots. I knew immediately that my sister was dead. I got that hole-punching sensation in my chest and I couldn’t breathe. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I raced through that open field, sobbing and praying that she was okay.
More guns were going off all around campus, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t focus on anything else but trying to get to my sister.
It was pointless though. Just like I could sense when she entered my dream, I could sense that she was no longer alive as well. But still, I kept going. I kept thinking this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.
And as I continued to think this, I could feel my dream trying to pull me out. My subconscious knew I was awake and it was ready to shut everything down. However, I did not want my dream to end like this. It felt too final, too real. My sister couldn’t be dead.
So I took over, and I reset my entire dream all in the blink of an eye. Literally. When I opened my eyes, everything was back to the start. I was sitting at my desk surrounded by faceless students and their murmuring voices.
All my fears and anxiety started to fade away, the tightness in my chest was no longer constricting, and I could once again sense my sister alive in my dream.
But my subconscious knew I was awake. I could feel my consciousness gently pulling me back to reality, lifting me from my desk as the world around me started to dissolve. I went willingly.
Exhausted from the adrenaline I had running through my veins, I knew I would fall asleep easily. I also knew that if my dream had let me stay, I would save my sister this time around. I’m not sure how I knew, but I knew.
So I woke up, sweaty, tired, and then immediately went back to sleep. It was dreamless, thank goodness.
I hope you enjoyed this Muse Monday and if you did, please don’t forget to like it. My husband has been bothering me for a while about uploading my dreams to my blog (because they can get pretty wild) so I thought I’d use this one as a test run. I might change the delivery to be more story like than a narrative. But let me know your thoughts in the comments below! I’d love to hear your thoughts about my dream journals!
And if you haven’t yet, be sure to subscribe! I would love for you to be apart of the Being Alaia family. You can also follow me on social media! I love interacting with my followers.
Thank you for your continuous love and support. I’ll catch you on the next blog! (:
Alaia is 25, born and raised in Hawaii, and has a B.A. in Fine Arts with a focus in Englis. She is a SAHM to identical twin boys, she's an identical twin herself, and she's married to the love of her life. Writing is her passion and she loves sharing it with others.
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