Love is a Choice? I Don’t Think So!

Me and the man I love without choice.

I’ve read a few quotes that made it seem like love is a choice. That you can choose to love someone as long as you constantly work at it. They said love is more than a feeling, that it’s a choice that you have to make everyday. I used to believe this. That you could love someone forever as long as you chose to do so. But I don’t think that is the case anymore.

I always worked at my relationship because I thought I had a choice, to choose to love him despite everything telling me it wasn’t going to work. I have sacrificed friends, family, my time, my body, my mind, my heart, and every other part of me to prove that I had made the right choice.

The philosophy of love is a choice made me believe soulmates was an illogical idea romanticized from fiction. I mean, why would anyone want just one person to love and if they never find this one person, be doomed to never find a love unimaginable. I can’t fathom being made for one person out of 7 billion so why couldn’t love be a choice.

So I believed that love could be a choice. But now, I’m not so sure. How can anyone choose what and how they feel? It’s the same concept as getting dumped and choosing not to feel hurt. It’s just not possible.

Maybe I’ve been in denial thinking I could control this aspect of my life, but I’ve come to realize that love is not a choice. You can choose to be with someone, but that doesn’t mean you can choose how you feel about them. Love is not a choice, it cannot be controlled.

I do not regret for a single second, being with the man that I am with today. But when I read quotes like this, it made me feel weird or wrong. Like my relationship was not right because I did not have to choose to love my significant other today, I just wake up loving him. I did not choose to feel this way about him, I just do. 

Yes, we work on our relationships all the time and it is not always easy. But my feelings for him have never changed. If they did, then we would not still be together today. If the day ever comes where our love fades, it is only fair for both of us if we ended things. No one should be trapped in a relationship with something they don’t love.

All I’m saying is that, everyone’s relationships are different. Love is love and it does not discriminate. So don’t let love quotes and romanticized ideals affect your relationship. They are just illusions or facades that people deem to be the ideal version of love. If you love someone, then love them with your whole heart and don’t let go. Don’t choose to love someone, just love them because you actually do love them. So is love a choice? I don’t think so. 

Thanks for reading today’s blog! I always wonder about other people’s relationships and my own because I do not have a lot of experience being in love or with dating. Reading quotes like this use to put all kinds of ideas about love into my head that I had no understanding of. But now that I met the love of my life, I realized that love is different for everyone.

So love who you love! If you enjoyed reading this blog, leave a like! If you are in love, feel free to leave a comment on how you met your love! Be sure to check out everything Being Alaia has to offer and don’t forget to subscribe. I’ll see you on the next one! (:


Love choice pp

2 thoughts on “Love is a Choice? I Don’t Think So!”

  1. I love this so much!! When you meet your soul mate, love just takes over ❤ The heart wants what the heart wants! I had small crushes before I met my husband, but when I met him I just knew it was real love. I didn’t “choose” him, love did 😊 When God sends “the one” you’ll just know its right! No matter how hard things get you still wouldn’t want to go through life without them! Cant believe our 6 year anniversary is coming soon! 🥰

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