Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve decided to write this blog to reflect the holiday and because I love love. I also feel like nobody really talks about the struggles twins (kids in general really) can have on a relationship. Every relation is different, so what might work for us might not work for you, but here are some tips and tricks my husband and I use to keep the romance alive while juggling our little ones.
Date Nights: My hubby and I barely get any time to ourselves. People always say they’re willing to babysit for us, and I’m so grateful for the thought, but it’s exhausting taking care of two babies at once. It makes me feel anxious asking people to help because I know how much work goes in to caring for them.
But every once in a while my sister will watch the babies so we can have a night together (or even a day) and it helps our relationship so much. When things are starting to get tense, we know it’s time for us to spend some quality time together. Date Nights help reinforce the romance in our relationship and remind us why we fell in love with each other in the first place.
Communication: This is honestly more important now than ever. Not only to communicate things about the babies, but also how we feel as well. It’s key to make sure that you are discussing with your partner what’s going on inside your head mentally and emotionally. My husband is constantly asking how I’m doing and vice versa. I also try to be as open and upfront as possible so he is clear about where I stand and he does the same for me.
Another part of this is trying to always see from each other’s perspective. This helps us understand what we are trying to communicate to each other. It can be hard to find the perfect way to talk or discuss things, but I found that when I talk to my husband about how I’m feeling, whether it’s good or bad, I feel better by the end of the conversation. As if a weight has been lifted from my chest, and that feeling is what helps our love grow.
Sex: Lots of it. Well, maybe not a lot. My husband and I try to have sex as often as we can, whether it be once a week, or once every few weeks. We both have needs and sex not only helps to rekindle our passion for each other, but it’s also a great stress reliever. Just don’t forget condoms or some form of contraceptive. Unless you’re TTC (trying to conceive), then I wish you all the baby dust in the world. But yes, have sex. It may be weird and uncomfortable at first, but you will get back into the swing of things with time and practice.
Alone Time: Having time for ourselves is just as crucial as spending time together. To be honest, you don’t even need to be separated to have quality time individually. Typically, my husband just likes to play on his Xbox without having to worry about the twins. He also likes working out at the gym. So whenever he needs time to himself, I’ll take our sons and watch them for an hour or two so he can do his own thing. For me, I like to work on my blog or go out with my friends.
You wouldn’t think alone time would be important for keeping the romance alive, but it is. Allowing time for yourself gives you the chance you need to decompress and puts you in a better mood for your partner. It also makes you appreciate your significant other much more. So it’s okay to need time for yourself. It helps not just you, but your relationship as well.
I know how hard having twins can be on a relationship, and that’s okay. It’s a massive adjustment. But you’re relationship doesn’t have to struggle because of it. Doing the things I mentioned will help you and your significant other greatly. Children are a gift, and the romance in your relationship shouldn’t have to pay the price.
I hope this blog can help you keep the romance alive in your relationship. If you liked what you read, please like this. And if you have any tips or tricks that you use, leave a comment below. Also please subscribe if you haven’t already for all the latestest updates. As always, thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you on the next one! Happy Valentine’s Day! (: