(Feature Photo Credit: CIO)
I’m A Failure
The Wife enters stage left wiping tears from her eyes.
Narrator: After a heated argument with her husband, the Wife locks herself in the bedroom and throws herself on the bed and sobs.
Wife: I’m a failure…
I do everything wrong. I can’t cook well. I don’t clean things right. I’m a horrible mother. I have a degree but no idea how to use it. I don’t have any prospects. My dreams are impossible to achieve. I’m a failure.
‘Be a writer,’ I told myself. A fool is what I actually am. My writing is amateur at best. No one enjoys reading it. I’m a failure.
My husband is never happy with me. We fight all the time. How could he love me? I have nothing to offer. I can’t even mother my own children without feeling exhausted by the end of the day. I wish I could have a break. I’m a failure.
I can’t breathe. I think I’m hyperventilating. Should I call for my husband? No. He’s with the children. I don’t want to be more of a burden. I’m a failure.
It feels as if I have inhaled glass. The shards are perforating my lungs; drowning and suffocating me all at the same time. I taste metal. I’m a failure.
Is there no hope for someone like me to do well? Am I as hopeless as a moon without a sun? Dark, sightless, unimaginable? Why am I like this? Why does it seem as if everyone is succeeding except me? Why is my best never good enough? Can I even be better? God only knows how hard I’ve been trying to be. Will I ever be enough? Is this my fate? I’m a failure.
I’m a failure…
I hope you enjoyed today’s Muse Monday! I wanted to do something different so this was new for me. It’s also fictional so a little disclaimer there. If you did like reading this monologue, please don’t forget to like it (you can also view more creative pieces here) and comment down below if you can be hard on yourself from time-to-time. I know I definitely can be. I just have keep in mind that I should not only be kind to others, but myself as well.
If you haven’t yet, be sure to subscribe! I would love for you to be apart of the Being Alaia family. You can also follow me on social media! I love interacting with my followers. Thank you for your continuous love and support. I’ll catch you on the next blog! (: