My Journey To Authenti-City!
I honestly am not sure where to start. This summer has truly been so transformative for me. I have learned so much about myself and shifted so many of my perspectives that I realized weren’t even my own. I don’t think we realize how much of our thoughts are ingrained and programmed into our subconscious. Our truest self is buried under years of thoughts, feelings, and ideas that we were forced to have to fit into our own societies. Some of us may have been taught to be seen and not heard, others may have been taught that their lives are unworthy of greatness, and so much of what we were taught to believe is untrue.
The biggest concept that I have learned this summer is that we were all made to be great and to live as our truest self. We can choose the life that we live. After I had this realization, that I can be my truest self and be accepted, it has made my journey of self discovery -which I’m now rephrasing as my journey to Aunthenti-City. Get it?- way more progressive. It has shown me that I first need to learn who I am, before I can even start to love, or even accept, myself.
You might be thinking that I’ve lost my mind, but I truly believe this. Why would we exist if it were not to do something great? We are all powerful and high vibrational being and not enough of this know or even understand what that means. I wish I could open everyone’s eyes to what life is really about, but I’m still learning and this subject isn’t really something that could be forced.
If you don’t resonate with what I’m say, that is totally fine. It may not fit everyone’s beliefs and that is okay. I still think you can live in your own authenticity no matter what you believe or who you are. Being your truest self is the ultimate goal in life and I found 5 ways to help you find your truest self.
5 Ways To Start To Find Your Truest Self & Live Authentically
Dedicate Time For Yourself
As a mom, dedicating time for myself was really difficult. I often felt guilty for taking time away from the babies to focus on myself. I felt selfish. But then I learned that I needed to do this. If not for myself, then for my kids. They needed a mom who cared for herself as much as she cared for them. So I learned to wake up a little earlier than them so I could take care of my needs, and then I also dedicated time after they go to sleep also for myself.
I created my own morning and night routine dedicated to me and my self reflection. I find that on days were I fail to practice my routines, I am not as functional or productive as I would like. And on days that I do, I can reach my truest self and identify the things that I need to do throughout the day to honor myself. Both my routines take no more than an hour to complete, and that’s on a slow day.
So I highly recommend dedicating some time in your day for you and self-reflection. You might be surprised by what thoughts and feelings come up. And it doesn’t have to be a whole routine like I do, it can be one thing like going on a walk, meditating, doing your makeup, whatever it is that makes you feel happy. That is how you can start to find your truest self.
Another way to connect with your truest self is to practice self-care. It is very similar to dedicating time for yourself, but instead of focusing on your thoughts and feelings, it’s about being present. So doing something that makes you happy and putting all your focus into what it is your doing. It can be as simple as focusing on your breathing, taking a bath, meditating (I know I say that a lot, but I’m going to keep on saying it because I will always advocate for it).
Lately, my favorite form of self care is Yoga. I added it to my night routine at the start of the month and love every second of it. Focusing on my breathing and listening to my body has helped me connect to my truest self. I have learned so much about what I am physically capable of through Yoga, and I get a little more flexible everyday. I tune out everything and focus on being in the moment; just me, my body, and my breath.
Identify Your Triggers
This has been a really important step when connecting to my truest self. Because of all my trauma, I was very quick to react to my triggers and usually anger was my first defense. I didn’t like how angry I always was and I honestly could not figure out why I always felt angry or irritable. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I realized that I could even be a happy person and that the reason why I felt angry all the time was because of my triggers.
Once I was able to identify what triggered me, it gave me the space to self-reflect (which I’ll get into next). This also helped me identify what comes from my ego and what comes from my truest self. My ego was created to protect me, my ego was what made me so angry all the time. I needed that defense to keep harm away from myself. But now that I don’t need that protection anymore, I can let go of the anger, I can separate myself from my ego. And that separation has allowed me to find my truest self.
Self-reflection is necessary to discovering your truest self. Having that space to be able to identify why you are feeling or thinking something specifically and where it originated from is needed to be able to connect with your truest self. This is important because you’ll be able to understand what thoughts and feelings are your own, and what was embedded into your subconscious.
For example, I grew up being told that “image is everything.” The expectation was, if you didn’t look a certain way then you need to find a way to get there. If you looked to heavy, you needed to exercise more. If your clothes were to revealing, then you were promiscuous. Over time, I just assumed that the way I looked would never be good enough. Taking some time to journal out my insecurities and thoughts, as well as seeing more image positive posts, I learned that the only reason why I didn’t love the way that I looked is because I was taught not to. My truest self is happy with the way that I look.
Had I reflected on this early on, I would have save myself from a lot of insecurities. But now, I’m relearning to love myself and unlearning all the things that don’t resonate with with me anymore. Don’t get me wrong though, I still have bouts of insecurities here and there but it’s much easier to self-talk those thoughts away with love and understanding.
Shadow work is about learning to integrate the shadow with the conscious mind. What your shadow is, is all the parts of yourself that you were told to hide or be ashamed of. Like if you like to sing, but someone told you that you could never be a singer so you locked that part of you away. Remembering that you like to sing and honoring that part of you is shadow work. It is similar to self-reflection, but more intentional.
Most people use journal prompts to help guide their shadow work, which is a good first step. But to fully integrate the shadow with the conscious mind, you must give love and acceptance to the shadow. Using myself as an example, when my sister and I were in kindergarten, I spent one recess hanging out with her instead of my own friends.
My friends did not appreciate that and said that if I hangout with her again, they wouldn’t be my friends anymore. Their reasoning was that they didn’t like the friends that my sister had. The idea of losing my friends terrified 5 years old me so I never hung out with my sister at school. In fact, I don’t think we ever meshed our friends group until middle school? It might’ve actually been high school. I’m not too sure, but it was many years later.
That experience created a shadow for me. I was scared and a little embarrassed to hangout with my sister, and I was also ashamed of myself for abandoning my own twin sister. I still struggle to hangout with her as just the two of us without feeling a little weird about it. I mean, not so much anymore because I was her only means of transportation for a long time, so that forced us to be together a lot. But definitely before I got my license. I always wanted a third person to be with us at least.
It wasn’t until I was able to accept that I did what I did to survive amongst my peers and keep up my social status. I was only 5 at the time so of course my friends were important to me. So much so that I ditched my twin sister. Looking back, it seems ridiculous to me that I would do such a thing. But putting myself back into my tiny little shoes and seeing it from the perspective I saw it back then, I understand it, I accept it, and most importantly, I give love to that little 5 year old girl who had to make a tough choice. She only did what she thought was best.
I kind of went off on a tangent there, but I hope you can see what I’m trying to say. The parts of ourselves that we were forced to hide away are still there, whether we like it or not. Accepting them and integrating them into our conscious mind helps us connect to our truest self. Shadow work is definitely difficult to do, but if you’re willing to put in the work, you’d be surprised by the progress you make on your own journey to Authentic-City.
I hope this blog helps some of you (at least one person) on their own journey of self discovery and connecting with your truest self. If not connecting, at least on the right path to start to find your truest self. There’s a version of our authentic self in all of us. That is what we are on this Earth to learn and discover. We can love ourselves, have the life that we want, and be happy if we just live authentically. Retire your ego and learn to accept who you are, your truest self.
Thank you for reading today’s blog and 5 ways that you can start to find your truest self. If you liked this blog, please be sure to check out my other content here. My blog is all about my journey of self-discovery and I hope you join me. You can follow me on all my social media platforms here, and subscribe to my newsletter for FREE access to me Resource Library here. I have a lot of big things coming soon so be sure to stay tuned!
Don’t forget that we are all on this journey to Authenti-City! I’ll catch you on the next blog! (: