(Photo Credit: BlogSpot)
I stand against the wall, so very alone, as I watch the dancing crowd sway with joy to an invisible beat. The music so loud, I can’t hear my thoughts. I continue to watch with sudden longing, a need to be a part of something, to be someone. I swallow those emotions down and decide to stay put. But with a ferociousness, the impulse to feel the warmth of bodies dancing around me consumes my thoughts.
I sigh and go find somewhere isolated to sit. There’s an empty table in the far corner that I make my way too. It’s cold here.
In the distance, I can see a boy who stands out from the crowd. He’s tall and entertains the many who surround him. His style of dancing is a little goofy, but the smile he has is beaming. It’s so contagious that I can’t help but smile too.
From across the room, he catches me staring. Shit, I think and look around the room. I find a nice crack in the wall to give my attention to as the flush on my face starts to subside.
A slower song starts to play, signaling to the crowd to enjoy the last few minutes they have left of this dance. I instantly feel relieved. I did it. It was nerve-wracking, but I still attended at least. This was as far out of my comfort zone as I wanted to be.
I was about to stand up to leave when I fell this tap on my shoulder. I jump out of my skin at the suddenness of it. When I turn, I’m stunned to realize it was that boy who caught me staring at him earlier. Oh god, how humiliating. I open my mouth to stammer some kind of apology for my rudeness, but he beats me to it.
“Do you want to dance?” He asks me. I snap my mouth shut after realizing it’s been open the whole time and nod. I blush deeply as he takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor.
He places his hands around my waist as I lightly put my hands on his shoulders. He pulls me a little closer and we dance in a small circle. I can’t believe we’re dancing together, I think to myself.
I look down at my feet, so I don’t step on his toes and bite my lip to stop the stupid smile I feel trying to show. My heart is racing and I’m covered in goosebumps.
Gaining some courage, I look up at your face and gasp quietly. Jeez, he was handsome. He had these vibrant blue eyes, dark brown hair, fair skin. No wonder everyone wanted to be around him. Charming and handsome? He’s perfect in every way.
Why would he want to dance with me? I’m so “plain Jane,” brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin. I was hardly anything special. Whatever. I shake my head and think nothing more of it. This guy can dance with whoever he wants and I just happened to catch his attention. That’s all this was. But if that were true, why can’t I stop smiling?
My grin fades as you look towards another girl trying to catch your attention. We stop dancing when you turn to face her and I back away slowly. When I a good distance a way, I rush towards the exit. We had a nice moment, but it’s back to reality.
I burst through the doors and find a bench to sit on. I take several deep breaths and let the humid air envelop me. It clings to my body like a second layer of skin.
The low rumble of thunder, brilliant flashes of lightning, and a black sky warn of a storm coming. I’ll have to walk home soon if I don’t want to get caught in the rain.
I decide I’ll take a few moments to relax and calm down a bit before I head out. Closing my eyes, I take a few more deep breaths, each one slowing my heart. A relieving cold breath of wind throws strands of loose hair into my face. I inhale its refreshing crisp smell.
I snap my eyes open and directly in front of me is that guy who asked me to dance.
”Hi…” I say tentatively. What’s he doing talking to me? I was not at all expecting to have any more interactions with him.
”Why’d you leave?” He asked sounding concern. I look away and try to think of a good reason for leaving the dance early.
”Mmm, it was hot and crowded in there so I decided to spend the rest of the night out here.” I respond a bit defensively. I straighten out my posture and subtly smooth out my dress.
”May I sit next to you?” How polite. I freeze, shook he wants to spend the rest of his night out here with me.
“Y-yes,” I stutter out while nodding my head. I scoot over for him and he gracefully plops down next to me, as if he was rain and the bench was the ocean.
”You look beautiful,” he comments smiling while gesturing at my dress and then my face. I can’t help but grin in return, “thank you.”
”I know this is kind of random, but would you like to hang out with me sometime?” He asks shyly. I wanted to say yes right away. However, I still wasn’t sure what this guy wanted. So I thought about it, and decided I would spend a day with him and just be cautious about opening up.
”Sure. How about tomorrow?” I reply.
”Works for me,” he says eagerly. We finish exchanging numbers right as the doors to the dance open and a crowd of people washes through.
”I should go,” I say softly as I stand up to leave. The entourage of people he was with earlier was dancing their way towards us.
“I wish you would stay,” he admits just as softly. I hesitate and then check my phone to see the time. Seeing that I have a few more minutes to spare before I have to walk home, I sit back down. I bite my lip fighting back the roaring waves of anxiety tumbling in my head.
As if sensing my discomfort, he brushes his shoulder against mine. I give him a tight smile to reassure him, but I don’t think it worked from the look of unease on his face. That’s social anxiety for you.
He talks with his friends while I stare at my fidgeting fingers. When I hear him introduce me, I smile at them all and instantly forget their names. I’m the worst with names, but I’ll remember their faces. Some nod, while others just stare at me quizzically.
He notices this, grabs my hand and gives it a soft squeeze. I give him a sad smile to show my appreciation and slide my hand out of his.
”I better go,” I whisper to him. “See you tomorrow?”
”Definitely,” he replies with a grin bright enough to light the night. Feeling less confident, I give him a small smile in return.
I start the journey home wondering what tomorrow will bring me as light kisses of water fall from the sky, dancing on my skin.
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